My first foray into displaying my utter contempt for Christmas and all that it implies was, and I began my subtle campaign back in October, to say out-loud whenever I was in hearing distance of children, especially very young children, that ‘they’ were considering cancelling Christmas this year due to the ‘worsening situation in some parts of the world’. I also suggested it might be a last minute decision.
The looks of fear and desolation I enticed onto the faces of some children clearly showed that a good many bought into my propaganda.
It was early December before I was afforded the opportunity to continue my assault on all that is bad about Christmas (that is all of it) when carol-singers crawled out from the woodwork to assail the senses of good cynical people who simply want to be left alone to watch Eastenders and University Challenge either in peace or in a state of alcoholic or drug-induced melancholy. The first bunch of cheruby minstrels made the rookie mistake of ringing the doorbell and asking if I would like to request a carol. I asked for Carol Vordeman and the lead cherub said they didn’t know that particular carol and suggested ‘Silent Night’ at which point I suggested they try their extortion racket in a street across the river.
The second lot began with a rendition of a song that suggested we ‘all go a-wassailing’ that coming from the months of children I felt inappropriate so I took a broom to them, scattering them into the street to display my displeasure to all and sundry and threatening them with further exhibitions of my distaste for all things festive if they should afford me the opportunity of meeting their parents. I did, though, allow them to keep their money box and at no point did I resort to bad language. They were, after all, only children. The bad language I determined I would keep for their parents for allowing them out at night without a chaperone.
As for home: no exchange of presents, no sending of Christmas cards – the other day I watched as two women exchanged Christmas cards. They talked for twenty minutes and as they bade farewell each said to the other ‘have a merry Christmas’. Exactly what it doubtless said on the cards they exchanged rendering them pointless. – no wishing people ‘a lovely Christmas’, no decorations, no tree, real of fake, no long hours preparing a meal that can only contribute to the melting of more ice up at the Arctic.
Think me a miserable cynic? So answering me this. Why can’t this ‘joy to the world’ aspect of this time of the year be extended to the whole of the year? Nature existed before religion sought to rule the world so why do we praise an almost certain fictional son of a definitely fictional deity and not worship and care for that which really gives us life: Nature?
Has it gone unnoticed that politicians around the world pay lip-service to anyone, including religious leaders, who talk of building a kinder, more peaceful world, while manufacturing weapons of mass destruction to sell to despots intent of killing and maiming innocent people who just happen to be in the way of ‘political policy’? Charities around the world raise billions of pound to help the poor and destitute, people caught up in conflicts they cannot influence and in natural disasters that might be avoided if we looked after our planet rather than reined rape and pillage upon it.
If I am a miserable cynic for disliking the rituals and commercial traditions of Christmas what adjective is appropriate for those in politics who believe people can be used as cannon-fodder or for influence in distant regions?
Religion will not bring peace on Earth. Politicians cannot achieve harmony amongst nations. Only miserable cynics like me and good people like you can effect real change on a planet that is slowly being lead to the point of oblivion.